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4 tips to make performance reviews less stressful

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As the year draws to a close, we all know what’s on the horizon: appraisal season.

Performance reviews can often feel intimidating and nerve-wracking, even before they begin. It’s not uncommon to imagine them feeling one-sided: a team member walks into the room, listens to the manager’s feedback, takes notes, and leaves—sometimes with a sense of relief, other times with lingering worries.

Although the power dynamic between a manager and a team member is real, it doesn’t mean you have no say in these meetings. Here are five tips to help you feel more confident and empowered during your next performance review.

1. Redefine performance reviews

It’s easy to understand why we can be resistant to feedback—it’s human nature to focus more on negative events than positive ones. But this leads to the biggest myth of performance reviews—that they’re only about bad news.

In reality, receiving feedback is just one of the many purposes of performance reviews. They also help us grow in our careers, clarify how our roles align with broader goals, and advocate for recognition of our contributions. When we shift our focus to these objectives, it becomes clear that performance reviews are a two-way street. By being proactive and coming prepared, we can shape the review process and work toward a productive outcome.

Here’s another perspective: performance reviews are an opportunity to connect with our managers. Receiving feedback isn’t easy, but sharing constructive criticism is no walk in the park either. Since both parties are investing time and effort in performance reviews, why not view them as an opportunity to strengthen the working relationship? This mindset helps us approach the conversation openly, embrace feedback, and collaborate on mutually beneficial solutions.

2. Add “yet” behind your limiting beliefs

Whether we realise it or not, we all hold limiting beliefs that can initially hold us back. These beliefs keep us entrenched in a fixed mindset, where we see our abilities as static, rather than a growth mindset, where we view challenges as opportunities to develop and improve.

Here’s an easy way to start shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset: add the word “yet” to your limiting beliefs. This small but powerful word transforms the seemingly final narratives we tell ourselves into empowering statements that emphasise learning and growth.

OriginalRevised:
“I’m not as efficient as my team members.”
“I’m not as efficient as my team members yet, but I can improve with better time management strategies.”
“I’m not an engaging presenter.” 
“I’m not an engaging presenter yet, but I can start by practising in low-stakes settings.”
“I’m not a good manager.”“I’m not a good manager yet, but I can grow into the role by seeking mentorship.”

Even the most accomplished person in the world has skills they haven’t mastered and goals they haven’t achieved—yet. In the meantime, it’s important not to sell ourselves short or close doors on opportunities before they’ve had a chance to unfold. Instead, let’s focus on the potential and possibilities we have yet to unlock.

3. Improve your communication skills 

Performance reviews can involve difficult conversations that we’re unsure how to handle.

How do we disagree without seeming defensive? How can we ensure we’re on the same page? And how do we ask for what we need—whether it’s more support, a change in responsibilities, or even a pay raise?

To approach these conversations with greater confidence, we can enhance our communication skills with these tips.

Tip:Examples:
1. Practise active listeningVerbal: Acknowledge your manager’s feedback with simple responses like “mm-hmm.”

Non-verbal: Use body language that shows engagement, such as leaning forward and nodding to signal attentiveness.
2. Paraphrasing and asking clarifying questionsManager: “You’ve done a great job on the last project, but I think there are opportunities for you to take more initiative, especially when it comes to leading team discussions. There were times where I felt you could have stepped up to guide the conversation.”

You: “Thank you for the feedback. Just to make sure I understand, are you suggesting that I should have been more proactive in setting the agenda or directing the discussion in those meetings? I want to make sure I’m taking the right approach next time.”
3. Frame requests as mutually beneficialRequest: “I’d like to shift my focus more towards strategic work and reduce my involvement in operational tasks.”

How to frame it: “I believe this would better align with my strengths and career goals. This shift would allow me to contribute more to the company’s growth while giving junior employees the chance to take on additional operational responsibilities.”

3. Share your aspirations

Where do you see yourself in the next year? This is a common question in job interviews, but it can also come up during performance reviews. Being able to articulate your vision shows that you are proactive and goal-oriented. But, before you can formulate a thoughtful answer, reflect on the following questions. 

What’s most important to you?

  • What are your values at work?
  • What were the most enjoyable parts of your job?
  • Think about your favourite project. What did you love most about it?
  • What motivates you at work?

What would success in your job look like?

  • What would you be doing on a day-to-day basis?
  • Who would you be working with?
  • What problems do you want to solve?
  • What results are you producing?

What progress have you already made?

This is more than just an opportunity to celebrate your achievements; it also gives you a chance to reflect on the factors that contributed to those successes (e.g., teamwork and collaboration) and think about how you can build on them moving forward.

Ace appraisal season with Intellect

With introspection, an open mind, and a willingness to learn and communicate, you can gain valuable insights from your performance reviews and grow both personally and professionally.

If you need some support, Intellect’s self-guided interventions can help. Here are some recommended Learning Paths you can find on our app:

Before PRAfter PR
Managing Anxiety & Worry
– Learning to be Assertive
– Letting Go of Perfectionism
– Handling Criticism
– Emotional Regulation
– Developing Self-Compassion

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